Author: Don Hicks
Insight Papers Index
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Insight Paper: Love Isn't Blind
Author: Don Hicks Insight Papers Index |
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So much of what Jesus taught revolved around love. He taught us about the love of the Father for us. He taught us about his love for us. Jesus said: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. [17] For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:16-17 (NIV) And finally, he taught us that we should love each other. The word love appears 51 times in the gospels.
Now, loving each other can be difficult at times. In fact sometimes it seems impossible. When we try to love deeply we often get burned when we discover the immaturity and sin in our brothers and sisters. And likewise, others frequently have a hard time loving us when they discover our own immaturity and sin. So our reaction many times is to practice a surface level love where we really don't know our brothers and sisters. We love each other based on outward appearances rather than on the basis of their flawed character. The problem is that shallow love isn't really love at all, its really more like infatuation.
So, let's look at what Paul wrote on the subject of love to the church at Philippi about 30 years after Jesus ascended to heaven.
The church at Philippi was one of the first Christian churches. It was founded by Paul himself on his second missionary journey. We would call it a diverse church. It was probably pretty common for its time but it was something that we would surely label as unusual. We MIGHT call it extraordinary or even exotic. Let me tell you why.
Philippi was a Roman colony in ancient Macedonia which is part of modern Greece. Because it was Roman colony on a principal highway it was an important place. Its status as a Colony of Rome means its citizens were Roman citizens which meant they had the right to vote and were exempt from taxes. They were important people! We know that the population also included Jews and Greeks. We also know that some of them were free and some were slaves.
Now, we expect the church at Philippi resembled the city of Philippi. So consider this for a diverse church: Jews, Greeks and Romans, all with dramatically different politics, world views and personal backgrounds were new Believers and were trying to figure out how to relate to each other. Consider a few issues they had that we cannot even imagine encountering at FBC. Romans were fierce rulers. If you opposed them, they quickly arrested you and if you didn't die during the arrest, they tried you and often put you to death. If you weren't a Roman citizen, you were taxed constantly in various methods that we would refer to as extortion or shake downs. Some members of this church were well educated, some completely illiterate. Think about this demographic: we assume that some members of this church were slaves, and some were their owners!
So, we have new Christians worshipping together who are:
• Rulers and subjects,
• Rich and poor,
• Tax exempt and heavily taxed,
• Educated and illiterate,
• Slave and Free.
Imagine what it would be like at FBC if we had sitting in the same row:
| • | People who had just been shaken down for exorbitant taxes and the people responsible for that shakedown. People who were exempt from taxation and people who paid taxes through the nose. |
| • | People who brutalized others in the enforcement of Roman law and the people who were brutalized. |
| • | People who formerly had worshipped many gods including their ruler, Caesar and people who had worshipped the true God but only as a harsh, distant nameless God who demanded quick punishment for any transgression. |
| • | And most difficult of all; people who were free and people who were slaves to their owners who might be others meeting in the same congregation! |
Can you imagine how difficult this might have been? The potential for conflict and division was HUGE. Likewise, the potential to be a strong witness for Christ was equally huge.
So, how could they handle this diversity which was so ripe for conflict? How could they all survive being in the same place together? And more than just survive, how could they grow together as believers fulfilling Christ's commission to make more disciples?
One of the Holy Spirit's jobs is to lead us into relationships that change us and experiences that mold us into people that look and act more like Jesus. Jesus tells us: A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher. Luke 6:40 (NIV) Jesus never instituted any rules that suppressed the background or heritage of his disciples. He had disciples that would have naturally hated each other. For example, we know that Matthew (Levi) was a hated tax collector and that James and John were “sons of thunder” which leads us to believe that they may have had revolutionary tendencies. But, they worked together as Believers in service to Jesus. I believe their devotion to Jesus washed away their animosity. But, you can place a sure bet that they were fully aware of each others background and knew what that background had led them to do to each other before they started following Jesus.
So how did the Philippians get along? How did they live in community? How did they work together to make disciples? How did they reproduce themselves spiritually? Well, we can see from Paul's letter to them that they had their faults and shortcomings... but he was effusive in his praise for them because of their partnership with him in the Gospel. And he identified the key for their relationship. Let's look at the first eleven verses of Philippians for the answer:
Philipians 1:1-11 (NIV)
Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus,
To all the saints in Christ Jesus at Philippi, together with the overseers and deacons:
[2] Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
[3] I thank my God every time I remember you. [4] In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy [5] because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, [6] being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
[7] It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. [8] God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.
[9] And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, [10] so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, [11] filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
Now, here is a novel idea! Paul tells them he is praying for their love to abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight. This trips us up right away. After all, it seems that Paul is mixing apples and oranges!
We know that love is an emotion...right? Love is a subjective feeling...right? You never hear someone in a movie say I've fallen in knowledge with you. Or, you mean so much to me that my heart overflows with depth of insight? Men, that's what you said to your wife when you proposed to her...didn't you...that you had fallen in knowledge and insight with her? No, of course not! So, why does Paul pray that their love will abound in knowledge and depth of insight? He's clearly confused, isn't he? He seems to be confusing the subjective emotion of love with the objective wisdom of knowledge and depth of insight. So, is there something wrong with Paul? Or, is there something that we should learn about love?
First, let's look at why Paul would tell them to love each other in the first place. Let's look at John 15.1-17. Jesus spoke these words to his disciples in the Upper Room on the night he was arrested where he washed their feet and taught them how to celebrate communion.
John 15:1-17 (NIV)
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. [2] He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. [3] You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. [4] Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
[5] “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. [6] If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. [7] If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. [8] This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
[9] “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. [10] If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. [11] I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. [12] My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. [13] Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. [14] You are my friends if you do what I command. [15] I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. [16] You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit--fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. [17] This is my command: Love each other.”
So, Jesus tells us to be like him. He tells us to bear fruit. He tells us that he is the vine and we are the branches. Only when we are a branch of his vine, can we bear fruit. He makes it completely clear: “apart from me you can do nothing.”
Loving each other is not an option. He loved us so much that he died for us. He commands us to “love each other as I have loved you.” In perfect practice, our love for each other should be so great that we would die for each other!
Now to love each other, we have to practice some tolerance for each other. We are all sinners saved by Grace. Not one of us is without sin. So, get used to it. You will always find some sin in your brother and sister. Does that mean we should justify the sin and continue sinning? No of course not. Paul said: What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! Romans 6:15 (NIV) Here's my point. We have to love our brothers and sisters in spite of our sin, politics, worldview, wealth/poverty, maturity or lack of maturity. Paul told the Philippians: This is my prayer: That your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight...(and the result of this will be)... so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that come through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
When our love abounds in knowledge and depth of insight we experience great rewards:
• Discernment
• Purity
• Blamelessness
• Fruits of Righteousness
And these rewards result in the glory and praise of God!
Would you like to experience the rewards of Discernment? How about Purity? What about Blamelessness? Would you like to experience the Fruits of Righteousness? I know I sure do. Well, the key is clear: let your love abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight. Don't let your love for your brothers and sisters stall on the superficial level. Let your love go more than skin deep. Pursue a deep love. Let's get to know each other and love each other in spite of our flaws. In spite of our rough edges. In spite of our personality defects. In spite of our immaturity. Just love each other.
There is also another aspect of practicing Love in knowledge and depth of insight.
• In Knowledge of WHOM? Christ of course!
• Insight into What? His love for us!
• Can we practice this love on our own? No, clearly we cannot! We have to ABIDE IN HIM, STAY CONNECTED TO HIS VINE IN ORDER TO HAVE LOVE FOR EACH OTHER!
Let's try to apply this some.
• Why am I resigning as an elder?
• Is it possible this contradicts what I am saying here?
Let me explain.
You may know that last December we received an unsolicited letter of intent from a development company to buy our entire property for a very large amount. Mike Carroll and Mark White checked them out and this appeared to be a legitimate offer. Mark also developed some alternative scenarios involving selling the North land for apartments.
But, selling the entire property presented a unique opportunity to:
• retire all our debt,
• purchase and renovate another property and
• end up with no debt or possibly have significant cash left over.
So what's wrong with this picture?
Well, on the other hand:
• Our present building serves us very well.
• We could not possibly afford our present building and location in today's market.
• We have been blessed by God with a bargain basement cost on our present facility.
• Moving will certainly be disruptive. We will lose some of our family because of it.
So, how do we decide what to do? I personally can argue a compelling case for both sides of this issue. Do you know what I mean? Both scenarios made sense. To sell and move made sense and to stay where we are made sense. Although I really wasn't sure, selling and moving personally appealed to me the most. But, really the only important decision factor is what God would have us do! Our own opinions and reasoning are valuable, but compared to God's will, they are worthless.
In April we had a one day retreat and discussed it most of the day. We had to decide what to do. But, we weren't ready. We agreed to seek God in prayer for two months for His will.
I decided to come to the auditorium Tuesday mornings at 7am just to pray about this issue. I prayed about other things also, but my Tuesday prayer time was mainly dedicated to this issue. It was a wonderful time of prayer. I really enjoyed these mornings of solitary prayer. But, I got a surprise! I've already told you that selling and moving appealed to me the most. But, in the early weeks of this prayer time I felt God answer my prayer. You know that still small voice in your consciousness that you have come to identify as the voice of God. Not really an audible voice but a thought process, an urging in your spirit that sends you in a definite direction. Now this "voice" is not something I hear or feel on a frequent basis. But, I've come to identify it as the guiding voice of the Holy Spirit in my life. Back to the surprise. The surprise was that I felt God's answer was that we were not supposed to accept this particular offer at this particular time. Instead, I felt God's answer was that we were supposed to keep the building and our central piece of land. I further felt led that we should further investigate the possibilities of selling the North land for apartments and combine the proceeds with our present savings to construct the South wing and end up with the same debt we have now or possibly less debt. Now, I knew this answer (not to sell) wasn't what some other elders wanted to do. So, I continued to pray every Tuesday (but one) until early June. I never heard the Spirit lead me in any other direction but to decline the offer. Frankly, I felt no more leading at all about this decision in the latter weeks of prayer. It was as if God was telling me that he had already given me His answer to this question and really didn't want to hear about it any more.
In early June, we had an elders meeting to decide what to do. It was a long meeting. We all explained in detail what we thought we should do. The result was that everyone but me thought we should sell the entire property and move. Four men thought we should sell, I alone thought we should not sell.
Now, you need to understand that I feel strongly that all major decisions should only be decided in unanimity of the elders. For example, our decision about Dave Williams was unanimous and only made after six months of consideration. However, I don't think unanimity is necessary for non-major decisions. The elders didn't require unanimity about the new carpet. Frankly, to require unanimity for decisions such as carpet is silly and would result in a gridlock in administration. But, I still strongly feel that a decision to sell the property should only be made in unity. Not all of our elders agreed with me on this decision criterion.
I also had to face the fact that my detection of God's will is neither exclusive nor infallible. Simply put, I could be dead wrong and everyone else could be right and walking in God's perfect will.
So, what was I to do? Everyone else wanted to sell the property and move and I did not feel this was God's will for FBC. I strongly felt we could not do this without a unanimous decision.
So, I had two choices:
| 1. | I could stay on the Elder board and function as a roadblock. I could prevent us from selling the property. I feel this would have made working together very difficult. I feel that in spite of everyone's best efforts, my continued presence at this time would have damaged the cohesiveness of the Elder board. I would have been the only one happy with the decision and four other men would have been very unhappy with the decision. |
| 2. | I could resign and allow the remaining elders to function in the unanimity that I so desired. Again, my detection of God's will is neither exclusive nor infallible. So, I decided to resign and by so doing restore unanimity to the Elder board. I didn't make this decision rashly or in anger. I still trust the other elders. I still love the other elders. And frankly, I am not 100% sure I did the right thing in resigning. But, I don't see another way to resolve this impasse. |
So, how do I feel now, three months later? The same way. But, I still appreciate that I could be wrong. I also recognize that God is WAY bigger than this decision. From a strategic viewpoint, this issue is like a grain of sand on the coast of California. God is totally in control!
So, in view of Paul's prayer for the Philippians, how should I conduct myself?
| 1. | We will not separate ourselves from FBC. This is our family...our body...the place where we grow in Christ. |
| 2. | We will continue to actively serve at FBC. I will still advise and serve the elders at their discretion. I will still continue to lead the Men's Connection group. I am not “taking my ball and going home.” In fact, I would be open to serving as an elder again in the future if God leads in that direction. |
| 3. | We will not lead or participate in any divisive group arising from this decision to sell the property. I will not passively stand by and allow others to use my decision as a wedge to create division. |
| 4. | We expect and anticipate that our love for others at FBC will abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight. We hope that you feel the same way about us. |
This is my prayer: That your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight. So that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
